The Shards, misplaced.

Another blog, another virtual portal to pour things out...

For some intangible reasons, as a result of some silly but serious events, I stand broken and in pain.

So here's a blog that I can't resist but keep my fingers sliding over the droplets on my screen just to keep myself stable. 

Pain, isn't it beautiful.

Over the few days, being subjected to pain frequently and fervently made me change my perspective towards it.

"It's super pretty and peaceful."

I find myself distracted and confused to take the best decision when I'm overjoyed or neutral.But...

Pain leaves me with hard yet finite choices to choose from. Though an unrecognisable part of my brain feels the joy for my life being pestled for the purpose of abstraction, most of it feels burdened.

Have you ever come across this feeling when your heart is too heavy that you start suffocating and tears roll out without your command yet something feels too hollow?

I get it more often than usual and the tears, they just don't happen except when the person involved is someone close. I don't know if I'm taking good care of the body that I possess, or this life that I've been handed over. Should I stay the same? Or should I...

Looking back at myself, from kindergarten till date I've not been able to have close friends, trust me I tried, but the hard truth is people change, right?

My SELF craves for permanent bonds, be it a friend or just a person who waves at me daily for formality' sake , seems though it's too much to ask for in these days. Does this make my personality boring? Am i just not enough? Or What the hell is wrong with me?

"Nothing, you're perfectly normal. Never change yourself for others", that's what they say.

More than emotional stability, I'm forced to strive for my financial independence. Being blamed for wasting money just to have another record binded is so hard, adults, they just don't understand. After analysing all my relationships family, friends, strangers and the aliens who don't even know ''I'm here on planet Earth, take me away far across the clusters of stars" duh! Wierd me, ain't I?,

It's clear that I'm the odd one out.

Isn't it funny when there's no one to blame for the broken glass but you got the shards buried deep in your palm...